One of the hardest things about life is that we don’t always feel as though we have the ability to control our behaviors. In fact, in our brokenness, we can sometimes find ourselves behaving in ways that contradict and undermine our goals and desires. We’ve all been there, experiencing Romans 7 moments where we’re doing the things we don’t want to do – while not doing the things our hearts desire. How does this happen, and what can we do about it?
When we find ourselves caught in those patterns of self-sabotage, a fair question to ask is the one Jesus posed to the invalid man who’d been lying there for 38 years – in need of great healing but unable to find it. That seemingly rhetorical, yet all-important question is, “Do you want to be well?” The obvious answer is yes, right? Of course it is. Yet, our behavior may suggest that there is a part of us, maybe a very small, imperceptible part of us, that’s clinging to our brokenness.
This unnamed man in John 5 had been ill for a long time. Thirty-eight years is a long time. Perhaps his illness had become part of his identity. In any case, when Jesus began to question him, he immediately started to rattle off excuses. We often find ourselves doing the same thing, don’t we?
At the pool of Bethesda, all the sick people gathered together. This, unfortunately, is part of the problem. Our relationships and connections are one of the greatest predictors of our quality of life. We become like those we associate with most. That doesn’t mean that all our friends must be perfect and have their lives together. None of us are perfect. Nevertheless, being well – and seeing ourselves as capable of being well, is helped along when we develop and nurture relationships with positive, healthy people. But that’s another topic for another day.
Our point here is this – life change often begins with asking ourselves very hard questions, and providing absolutely honest answers. It might seem impossible that a person wouldn’t want to get well, but sometimes there are emotional and relational barriers – maybe even beneath the surface – that secretly undermine our efforts and cause us to sabotage or destroy any progress we might make.
So, what can we do? What help is there for us when we seem to find ourselves working against our own best interests? Paul points us to the answer in that infamous chapter of Romans I alluded to above. In Romans 7:24 he cries out, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” In other words, who can help me stop doing things I don’t want to do? The answer to this question is everything. How can we be delivered from self-sabotage, self-deception, and (ultimately) self-destruction? The answer is not really “how,” but “who?” We must look to Christ. If you are struggling with self-sabotage, cry out to Him in this very moment. Look to Him. Look to His Word. He healed the man in John 5 after 38 years of placing his hope in remedies that did not work. He can heal us as well.
