Habits
There are certain things we do every day. Brush our teeth. Wash our face. Check social media. Go to the gym. Everyone has personal habits. We also have professional habits. Get to work early. Get to work late. Lunch with colleagues. Eat lunch alone. Respond to email. Pretend email doesn’t exist.
Though these types of habits are obvious and important, they are not the most impactful ones. The habits affecting us most – especially if we are struggling with our careers, often have more to do with what we are thinking, and can ultimately lead to a self-defeating way of life. So, the questions we have to answer are, how do we identify self-defeating habits (because they can be sneaky), and how do we eliminate them?
Identification
One of the easiest and quickest ways to identify self-defeating habits is to ask someone close to you what they see you doing over and over again that is working against you. A family member, colleague, or close friend may be able to help you see things that have been lurking in your blind spots.
Another way to identify (and address) self-defeating habits is through prayer. Ask the Lord to reveal things that you are doing in your life that are not helpful. Proverbs 14:1 says that “The wisest woman builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.” I believe this extends beyond the household. Sometimes we find ourselves tearing down our career (or even our lives) through our own self-defeating behavior. If we pray for wisdom, and ask God to reveal our shortcomings, I believe He will do so.
One other way to identify self-defeating habits is by reading and studying Scripture. The book of Proverbs is a great place to start, as it is literally filled with examples of self-defeating behaviors.
Finally, I would suggest sitting down with a pen and paper and evaluating your life and career, looking for patterns of behaviors that have kept you from getting to where you want to be. What issues or struggles seem to follow you from job to job? What challenges seem to be present in every dimension of your life? What do you continually say you are going to change, but never do?
Behavior Modification
Our culture, and the psychological establishment, point us toward behavior modification as the solution to our self-defeating habits. As the story goes, all we need to do is figure out what behaviors we need to change, and then work to change them. Focus on them, set goals, monitor, reward successes, and before we know it, all is well. My question is, “how’s that working for us?”
How People Change
Scripture takes a different view. The Bible speaks of change from the inside out – not the outside in. When we are concerned with merely modifying our behavior, change starts outside of us – by focusing on what we do. When the focus is real change, as we find in Scripture, it starts inside of us – from the heart, focusing on who we are.
Let me ask you this – which is harder, forcing yourself to do something you hate, or allowing yourself to do something you love? Nobody has to force me to eat cookies or watch movies. Nobody! Why? Because I actually like those things and enjoy doing them. My affections are inclined toward them, if you will. Real, meaningful, lasting change happens when our desires change. It happens when there is a change of affections – a change of heart. If I learn to truly enjoy healthy foods (which I actually do, by the way), it becomes much easier to eat them.
What Does This Have to Do With Your Career?
If you are reading this, chances are that you are at least thinking about a career change. You want to live out your vocational calling. You want to do work you love. There is also a good chance that this desire is not new. You’ve been wanting to do this for a while. So, why haven’t you? I’m willing to guess that there are a few self-defeating habits that have gotten in the way. We could try to address them by going straight to behavior modification, but I don’t suggest that. And I’m guessing you’ve tried that. Instead, in next week’s blog post I’m going to share a better way.
If you feel like this blog post describes you perfectly, why not reach out today to schedule a free discovery session. I would love to help you make your self-defeating habits a thing of the past.
