A better way to change self-defeating habits
It is painful to consistently act against our best interests. To know the right and best thing to do, but feel powerless to do it, can lead to discouragement and despair. Maybe you’re experiencing that as it relates to your career – but you don’t have to.
Last week I shared that Scripture provides a better and more effective approach to habit change than the behavior modification approach we are often pointed to within our culture. Real change begins and ends in our hearts.
Proverbs 4:23 commands us to, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for out of it flow the springs of life.” Why is this so important? Because all of our habits – the good, the bad, and everything in between, emanate from our hearts. When our hearts truly change, our behaviors follow. It really is that simple.
How does this heart change happen?
This is where things get tricky. To be sure, it is God (and God alone) who changes our hearts. For that reason, instead of focusing narrowly on behavior modification, we do well to focus more broadly on sanctification. As God conforms us to the image of Christ, our self-defeating habits, whether they relate to our careers or other areas of our lives, will be impacted. So, what does this look like?
Sanctification
Sanctification is defined as, “A progressive work of God and man that makes us more and more free from sin and more like Christ in our actual lives.” Many would argue that this is synergistic, meaning that, in a sense, God and man working together, cooperatively, to bring about real change in the life of the believer, resulting in greater freedom from sin, and a life that resembles Christ more and more over time. Paul speaks of this cooperation in Philippians 2:12-13. We are called to obey, and to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Yet, Paul makes it clear that this happens only because God is working in us.
As is communicated in the verses referred to above, there are two important components necessary for sanctification to take place – God’s grace, and our moral effort. God has a part, and we have a part. Our desire and ability to do our part does not come from us. Even these are a gift from God (Psalm 37:4, Philippians 4:13). Yet, we are held responsible for our actions (or inactions). In short, we must do our part. We are without excuse (Romans 1:20).
There are three common ways of looking at this synergistic relationship. The first can be called the “let go and let God” mindset. It is as if we just lie down, and God does all the work. Our job is to simply let go and “give it to God.” His job is to, then, “miraculously” bring about change in our lives. This view is decidedly unscriptural.
The next could be called “God plus me.” Picture a large piece of wood. God is carrying His side of it, and I am carrying mine. I do my part, God does His part, and together we get the job done. This view is erroneous, in part, because it suggests that we do our part in our own strength. Yet, God has made it clear that apart from Him, we can do nothing. It is not just a matter of being connected to Him or working with Him, but actually being in Him – and He in us (John 15:1-5). This is the only way that we bear fruit in keeping with sanctification.
Synergistic sanctification happens like this – we lift the large piece of wood. We have to do it. But never in our own strength. It is God in us, working in us and giving us the grace to do what must be done – this is how sanctification truly works. God gives us a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26). He gives us the desire to do what He would have us do. Then He endows us with the strength to do it. Without Him (in us) it will never happen. We have to act, but we can’t act without the strength of God. Paul says this clearly in Colossians 1:29. We toil and work extremely hard, but not with our own strength. It is His energy and His power that sanctify us, but we must act. God will not obey for us. He will not change for us. Yet, He will endow us with everything we need in order to do these things, and more (2 Peter 1:3).
What does this mean for your career?
So, again, how do we overcome self-defeating habits in our lives and careers? The same way we overcome everything else as believers. We run to God, and we ask Him to change us from the inside out – to change our hearts.
Maybe you’ve been struggling with some destructive habits that have kept you from getting to where you want to be in your career. And maybe you’ve been following the world’s advice for modifying those habits, and it hasn’t worked. I want to encourage you to go to the heart by treating this as the spiritual issue that it is. Scripture, prayer, confession, repentance, obedience – I promise you these will get us further than goals, affirmations, accountability partners, or any of the other things we’ve tried. I’m not saying these are bad. They have their place, and I am a fan of all of them – in their proper place. But, without addressing the heart – without true sanctification, they are merely band-aids.
If you are feeling stuck, I would love to help. The career coaching I provide is biblically based, and does not leave out the importance of sanctification. Reach out today to schedule a free discovery session. I would love to support you in your journey.
